Since When Is A Marriage Not A Relationship & Since When Is A Relationship Simple?

Today I commented on a singles forum. The thread was posted by a woman who has just gone through a divorce. She was asking for advice on how to pick herself up after having her heart ripped out. I responded by telling her some of things that helped me when my ex-boyfriend left me for another woman. I told her to find something to look forward to, get involved in activities and find something to feel passionate about. I also told her that prayer really helps and that I have received answers to those prayers. Her response was "If only it was as simple as a failed relationship." WHAT!!!!

I probably went to far in responding again, but I felt that I had too. I said that there was nothing simple about a relationship and that if she was going to ask a question she needs to accept the answers she gets from a variety of people with different experiences and heart break. I felt squashed by what she said when I trying help her with her request. I got the "You have never been married, so you cannot understand" attitude again. I don't understand everything, but heart break, I have a very clear understanding of.

Since when is a marriage not a relationship? Now keep in mind that I am talking about the man and woman, and not about a man, woman, and children. Once the children grow up and leave, the couple "relationship" still exists. A couple in a relationship have to deal with each other's needs, personalities, outside pressures, temptations. They argue, makeup, love, are disappointed in each other, are proud of each other, support each other and need each other. They can also do the opposite of everything I just mentioned. Do married couples deal with same things? You betcha!

Divorce is more complicated than a break up is, but but involves the same emotions, love, betrayal, pain, hate, unfulfillment, anger, etc. You name it, it is there. But I felt all of those same things in my "relationship" with my ex.

Sometimes I feel that married and divorced people think the never married people have lived in box their whole lives and have never experienced or felt anything with love and heart break. Talk about being wrong!

I still experience all of the following...

Love
Hate
fulfillment
unfulfillment
respect
disrespect
attraction
distraction
Support
unsupport
trust
betrayal
happiness
sadness
ambition
kindness
aloness
understanding
lack of understanding

A marriage is still a relationship and just because you have been married and divorces does not mean that us, life long singles don't understand and you can't take what we say as being of value.